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Posts archive for: October, 2007
  • while sitting darkling

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    The town by night in the picture above is not that I love, just I’ve been there, spent rather a long while, and it is another northern town where I was very well. Welcome everyone who knows the name of the town…

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    “Love never dies.” (Count Dracula)
    null
    *In Tones of Black and Pearl*
    Bleak despair. The light goes out. The dark falls bringing us. We are vampires, children and lords of the dark. In the moonlight we wander over the world, over the net of our thirst. Fear-encircled, we spread it. Thirsty for blood we want to drink your life, and to sow the dark with the power of our thoughts. For ever young, for ever beautiful, alien, quick and strong, not omnipresent yet omniscient, no reflections, no shadows, lightly moving the night vigil of oblivion, we sand nightmares, and Luna, Greek Selene admires us. Oblivion is at the threshold of the hagridden mortals. The gentle bite--the sweet taste of blood. We’re thirsty. There is no use of crying. Acquiesce. Noctules, nosferatus--pallid faces, shining eyes--may be dead, may be alive, yearning for a sweet prey--languorous, sometimes sad--we wander in the moonlight. Vampires, children and lords of the dark. Lonely amid you.

    remark
    Prose remains my forte; poetry is something I occasionally try to do, but have no real experience. Any critique will be very much appreciated. A poet of the North I remain a poet of the religion of Antinous--if I am a poet at all, if the religion needs me--in my view, every pagan religion has to have its own poets, writers, artists and scholars, its own Alistair Crowley. The religion of Antinous has its scholars and artists; many poems are dedicated to him, and one of the poems is mine. But I digress… “Picture me, my dear, alone and studious…”

    *A Virtual Life*
    Ashes and flowers; some poetry;
    the frigid truth of autumn bonfires;
    the sad magic; the magic sin;
    the artificial paradise; the graphic laughter.
    Daemons rule here. Their lips are aglow.
    They kiss tulips in red wine.
    (2006)

    *lyric*
    With you--I’m most faithful;
    with you--I’m the best in the world;
    with you--I’m kindest and omnipotent.
    The sophisticated reiterate: happiness will be over some day.
    But I don’t believe them. Confound the worldly wisdom!
    Happiness won’t be over--
    by lucky chance, by sheer luck, it’s often like this.

    a la pointe blanche
    “My needs are naďve and poetic: mental wholeness, completeness, consistency of events, and the charm of the habitual, where dreams dwell so serenely and comfortably, free of the moment's cavils”. (Anthony Blanche)
    “Time beats up cream for him who is ready to have dessert”. (Anthony Blanche)
    “I obey myself, knowing my own mind. But one cannot speak of it”. (Anthony Blanche)
    Mr Blanche’s favorite quotation: “Follow your inclinations with due regard to the policeman round the corner.” (W. Somerset Maugham)

    Sentimental Stroll by Paul Verlaine
    The setting sun shot
    its last rays, and the winds nursed
    pallid nenuphars,
    giant nenuphars in reeds
    sadly gleaming on dead calms.

    I was strolling, all
    alone, perambulating
    my woes round the lake,
    among sallows where a vague
    mist evoked a vast, creamy

    phantom in despair
    and weeping with the plaintive
    voices of the teal
    calling to one another
    amid clatterings of wings

    among the sallows
    where I wandered all alone
    perambulating
    my woes: the dense winding-sheet
    of dark swallowed up the last

    rays of the setting
    sun in its bloodless billows
    and the nenuphars,
    among the reeds, the giant
    nenuphars on their dead calms.

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  • miscellanea

    => As my blog's stats show, dozens people visit my blog every day; some of them do it many times, and--no comments. Oh well… Leave comments! They make me happy :)
    Usually, when I’m online or writing a blog, I’m sexless. I don’t believe in sex online or in the virtual life, and don’t understand it. This is a dialog on the topic:

    *A Chat*
    “Hello. Would you like me to love you right now?”
    “Hello. Can you do it?”
    “Well, right now, no… at a distance, online, it’s not so interesting, I think”.
    “But it’s possible to feel love at a distance”.
    “How so?”
    “Do you like ice-cream?”
    “I prefer whipped cream”.
    “Good. You have not whipped cream at the moment. But you love it anyway. It means your love for whipped cream is boundless”.
    “Indeed. I even can imagine how I eat it… It’s so tasty!”
    “That’s it. This is love at a distance”.

    And yet I don’t understand a virtual sex--but utterly.
    Usually I visit my page and then go away, back to my everyday real life. If you write a comment or letter to me, I’ll reply. I don’t live online or on the Net.
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    my young kitty
    She is so playful. If she doesn’t sleep or eat, she plays or examines unknown things for the purpose of using them as her new playthings. As I’ve said in one of the previous posts, she appeared at my place in the past midsummer, being impregnate. Soon after she brought in the world three dead kittens, she began to play again as though nothing had happened. She wants more and more playthings; frequently she plays her food. When her playthings are lost under the furniture, she begins to hunt for my feet and hands. From time to time I give her my hand--she enclasps it and begins to gnaw it delightfully and to fight, however, without shedding my blood. She enjoys having such a big plaything, a big living victim, and showing how sporty, courageous, aggressive and bloodthirsty she is. I call her my little vampire. If she were inclined to contemplating like some cats, then that would not bad at all--but she loves playing, loping and fighting better, and I encourage her in every way. Because she is a cat and she is beautiful. Bimbo bello.
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    do you love rains?
    Do you remember Verlaine’s:
    “Il pleut dans mon coeur
    comme il pleaut sur la ville”.
    his most beautiful lines apart perhaps from “Et o les voix d’enfants chantant dans la coupole” which is unspeakapably lovely to me.

    null

    poem for myself
    Take other train;
    be like a wind;
    stop caring about a ticket,
    for the golden leaflet is in your hand,
    and your past will catch you up
    never again.

    poem by Charlotte Bronte
    Speak of the North! A lonely moor
    Silent and dark and tractless swells,
    The waves of some wild streamlet pour
    Hurriedly through its ferny dells.

    Profoundly still the twilight air,
    Lifeless the landscape; so we deem
    Till like a phantom gliding near
    A stag bends down to drink the stream.

    And far away a mountain zone,
    A cold, white waste of snow-drifts lies,
    And one star, large and soft and lone,
    Silently lights the unclouded skies.

    Charlotte Bronte, the author of Villette, one of three sisters Bronte, the famose English writers. Three sisters. Chekhov’s Three Sisters. Three sisters--northen skys--literature--pulmonary tuberculosis. I love Emily's Wuthering Heights. This is one of her poems:

    *At Castle Wood*
    The day is done, the winter sun
    Is setting in its sullen sky;
    And drear the course that has been run,
    And dim the hearts that slowly die.

    No star will light my coming night;
    No morn of hope for me will shine;
    I mourn not heaven would blast my sight,
    And I ne'er longed for joys divine.

    Through life's hard task I did not ask
    Celestial aid, celestial cheer;
    I saw my fate without its mask,
    And met it too without a tear.

    The grief that pressed my aching breast
    Was heavier far than earth can be;
    And who would dread eternal rest
    When labour's hour was agony?

    Dark falls the fear of this despair
    On spirits born of happiness;
    But I was bred the mate of care,
    The foster-child of sore distress.

    No sighs for me, no sympathy,
    No wish to keep my soul below;
    The heart is dead in infancy,
    Unwept-for let the body go.
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    vampires again
    I’ve read the book The Tale of the Body Thief (1992) by Anne Rice, and I like it much more than her Interview With The Vampire (1976), and yet--and yet I won’t read more her books, because am afraid to be disappointed.
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    off topic
    Lately I’ve stumbled across the online discussion “Is homosexuality a sin?” My reply was: “The sin is to regard homosexuality as a sin. Recall what they in Iran and Moscow do with homosexuals”.
    I seek to avoid politics but I have some views and political convictions. I hate Moscow but Iran I hate yet more. More about worldwide news and politics you can read here:
    http://direland.typepad.com/direland/
    Now--my declaration of love for USA. I believe in the American military force. Moscow has supposedly stopped to be the empire of evil, but there are a lot of problems more, for example: who will protect us--all of us, human beings--from terrorism and the islamic nuclear ambitions? Who? The governments of the states where most of us live? I believe not. Personally I put my hopes on the US military force.
    regards,
    Lara

    P. S.
    ”Tales to Myself”
    A person who lives solitarily and spends time thinking of sad things and shedding tears is believed to be a looser. What if this mode of life is his/her choice?
    “The neighbours knew nothing of him; and since, in the human inferiority’s opinion, the insolent and silent life like his is an infringement of customs and a kind of magic that helped get rid of its slavery, they regarded this reticence as malevolence, restrained by the fame of his enormous riches. This duplex magic of gold and silence was he all over.” (Henri de Regnier)
    That’s true, but… However, let it remain as it is.

    *novelese*
    What twists the plot is doing… and lines of fates
    are cunning by the dots;
    and eye will poison, and a sense will answer.
    To delve in words, to bead them, to admire
    the manner of the man whose heart was stripped.
    The mystery and the imagery, brighter than brilliants,
    merge in nuance, curling, stirring, winding.
    Darting to refinement, ciphered whimsy phrases
    create a nugget. Suspense cries;
    its voice and smile dupe the dupable ones.
    Touch it--and the buffoonery will burst.
    And all is shaky here;
    a suspension-bridge is ground--but the fire
    is blazing brighter in the dusk.
    All the barbed arrows have been aimed--at whom?
    Laughter is heard--yet nothing arrogant.
    To search a scanty honour at the bottom;
    to find it being desolate.
    How meandering the road that leads us up to sources.
    The audience is as though electrized,
    for everyone is waiting for the final.

    So let it be! Que soit-il! Che sara!
    “’Come what may’ is neither our motto nor a refrain of our song. Let’s kiss and make up!” (Anthony Blanche)
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    if you like reading parables you can read one here:
    http://ohlala007.blog.co.uk/2007/10/03/gleanings~3081240
    my vampire themed blog posts:
    http://ohlala007.blog.co.uk/2007/10/29/while_sitting_darkling~3211002
    http://ohlala007.blog.co.uk/2007/11/03/sybaris~3237760
    http://ohlala007.blog.co.uk/2007/09/01/what_s_new~2904202
    http://ohlala007.blog.co.uk/2007/07/01/vampire~2551799
    fancy-pansy post has been updated today:
    http://ohlala007.blog.co.uk/2007/04/14/fancy_pansy~2093231
    promoting my book--and myself:
    http://stores.lulu.com/store.php?fAcctID=935938
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  • gleanings

    well, that’s really something. . .
    More than once I read in the blogs about the book The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, and lately I downloaded the book to read it at long last. I'm ridiculously late, for the book was published in 1999, however, better late than never. Reading it I’ve been disappointed. Nothing special is in this book. A boring parable, designed as somewhat scriptural which is provincial. The author makes advances either to young people or to the islamites. The book was translated in 41 languages, and published in more than 110 countries, it was # 1 in bestseller lists in more than 15 countries-- :roll: --all this makes me shrug shoulders. It’s nice that the download is free. Being somewhat inspired I’ve been delivered of my own parable. It’s not a parody. Take the small essay kindly, please:

    *Gardens*
    It was a warm autumn evening in the Garden. A gust of a wind like a slap in the face--one more summer had been lost. The leaves aroma and fresh air served people a trick, and they felt giddy and saw fanciful visions. Bizarre images rose in the coming darkness. A form of a man with a gun appeared from nowhere, he passed by and went away to nowhere. Nobody asked questions. Silence and nature; nature and silence. At this bewitched place you realized: vanity and darkness were not compatible. All synonyms were abolished. There were neither two men identical with each other nor two words nor two moments of time. I noticed a campfire. The tongues of flame pointed towards the sunset. It grew dark. The thick lines of trees went to the campfire in the secluded corner of the Garden. An old man was sitting by the fire; some garden instruments were beside him, he has a straw hat on. The old man was muttering something below his breath. I felt curious: night, an old man, a campfire in the Garden in the center of Copenhagen. Having nothing to hurry I approached, and without asking permission I sat down beside the old man. The old man took no notice of me; he kept on muttering. For some time I could not understand what language he was talking; he seemed to speak several languages at the same time. His intonation sounded like a prayer. Some of his words were Greek, some English, a part of the words was in Slavonic languages, but the phrases, which I understood, made sense. This is what I heard:
    “…I mustn’t close eyes. Once I doze for a moment, a burning log will be saved by the trees, and only ashes as symbol of vain expectations and mockery at mankind will be left… Few men guess that trees can think. Many men don’t know that trees were initially designed as universal philosophers. Non-resistance to evil, the theory of the perpetual circulation, asceticism--this is some of the conceptions which the mankind has got from the branchy thinkers. Now we can laugh at the beliefs of our ancestors… An idle man has no fate; his life is boring and monotonous. Work, way home, supper--this is the first circle of hell which the poet passed over in silence out of compassion to the majority, for the defectives don’t want to know of their defectiveness. The trees, on the contrary, care about your opinion of eternity, but unlike the silly humans, they never show that our fate is in their embrace… Imagine for a moment the mankind without trees. The world would suffocate from its own ambitions. The fewer trees on the Earth, the more evil amidst humans. The popular wisdom says that a man has to plant a tree besides all the rest. The true sense of this wisdom is concealed from a modern day man. In the dim and distant past there were enough trees so that only one seedling would be demanded from a man. This popular wisdom sounds especially absurd as a proverb spread amidst the forest peoples. What for one should plant a tree if he lives in the forest? The answer is: it’s senseless to understand wisdom by yourself. Sages are in charge of wisdom. Who can be wiser than those who have been designed as philosophers? The ancient people told fortunes in another way than the modern charlatans do it. Every man had his own tribal tree. Every tribal tree was treasured. Lines of a tribal tree were put on lines of a hand, and only then the fortune-tellers set to open the gates of time… The seeming immovability of the arboreal world is deceptive. There are many places on the Earth where there is no a single person and where the green giants reign. Trees can grow on stones. Trees grow at cemeteries. Only a narrow mind can suppose that trees cannot grow at the desert. The truth is simple: where trees grow, there is no room for a void. Subjects determine a space and not vice versa. He, who understands it, never loses his way in the wilderness… I know, the Elysium Fields where the favored of the gods enjoyed perfect happiness, and the fields of Aaru where Osiris ruled after he became part of the Egyptian pantheon as well as other final resting place of the souls are surrounded with trees, for a paradise can be only among trees and not among mountains, books or art galleries. The Garden of the Hesperides where the immortality-giving golden apples grew … The Cedar Forest as the glorious realm of the gods of Mesopotamia is one more mystical connection between a human and trees… Scientists have not discovered the genetic modification of a human-tree prolonging a human’s life by many centuries. A 700-year-old mortal is not a myth of the past but a forgotten possibility of the future. Any kid knows what the circles of a tree’s cut mean: the years of a tree’s life. Trees are a mysterious mechanism akin a clock in which the circles are years of life and all the rest elements are we, humans. The great Protagore said that a human as such is not a sufficient value, he is but a measure of things around him. Everyone has his own measure; someone’s measure is seconds, someone’s--minutes, someone’s--millenniums. And only the woodcutter with an axe in hand, like an executioner, rounds off all measures of time, leaving the sum for not bright statisticians: number of felled trees always is in proportion to number of died humans. According to the popular beliefs of many peoples, souls of the dead go to the Underworld by boats, but the priests pass over in silence where the boats come from, and where the forests of the planet go away… One judges trees by their fruits, and a man--by his deeds. There are two analogies in this identity: the first is on the surface, the analogy of fruits to deeds, and the second connection between trees and humans is more profound, more significant…”
    The old man muttered about many things, telling about the Druids, about a unbloody war between two great tribes at backwoods, about the great migration of peoples; he told about curative qualities of trees, how trees can cure, how trees can kill, and much, much, much more… Some time passed, and I did not noticed how morning had come. The old man became silent, and I understood that his reasoning had come to an end. I rose and stepped aside. The old man’s speech fascinated; I wanted to say something but nothing wise occurred to me, but: “And this our life exempt from public haunt Finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, Sermons in stones and good in every thing”. Now I looked down underfoot. There was trace of cloven hoofs imprinted on the ground. This discovery seemed to be a specious excuse for beginning to talk with the gardener and asking about the animal that left the weird trace here. I turned to the campfire, but there was not the old man--he disappeared. The trace went right towards the campfire that had died down, the place where the old man had been but just. No logs, no firebrands, no embers were at the place of fire, only the ashes, over which the Roman numerals LXIV were written, and the air smelled either of gunpowder or sulphur.

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    new adult fiction:
    http://stores.lulu.com/store.php?fAcctID=935938
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    taking a detached view
    What is platitude? How shall I put it? In my view, platitude in literature is the situation when words jar on you, and you feel ashamed for the author of the words. An indecent or offensive joke is not always a platitude. Jokes offend me sometimes, but I never feel ashamed for their authors; I just feel like destroying the author of the joke, or dissecting his joke, no more. Indecency or a foul language may be a crime but it is not always a platitude. Nabokov cites the short story Death in Venice as en example of a pure platitude as his compatriots used to understand it. I don’t agree with him. The story is aesthetically beautiful, and Thomas Mann is sincere telling it, and the author’s sincerity saves and justifies all. However, Nabokov never found any acrid words for commenting the movie Death in Venice. Another great writer, Chekhov struggles against platitude in his stories and plays. Reading his stories I suspect the platitude in his stories implicates a drab existence and ignorance mainly. What platitude means nowadays, I hardly can define more precisely--may be it’s some kitschy things which I dislike and which are platitudinous enough?--but the things simply irritate me, no more. I really don’t know--am at a loss.
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    graphomaniac unbound
    This is a word for word translation of my two poems--latest and not so latest:

    *the primrose path*
    O, white September with blue eyes,
    you smell of coffee that I spilled
    today at lunch. It was my agitation.
    You and I are satisfied--today.
    My feelings are unveiled,
    admixing in my blood
    with waves of endorphins, which nice.

    O, hot December with your power,
    I’ve changed indeed.
    To give myself to you
    I’ve given up all hope.
    So, that’s enough. Forgive me. For I can’t--
    I hardly can survive without you
    just warming hands in someone’s arms to spill
    black coffee once again.

    Stars are so distant. Months so close:
    September and December.
    Don’t come in. For it’s not time.
    It’s summer at my place, so tear your calendar.
    Never fear. Sit down for the road.
    Forgive me for the rubbish, which I’ve said.
    Go now. For ever, ohh, for ever. Don’t forget
    the sun-flecks of the parting in the springtime--
    part of my life. And you-- you are my king.
    For ever. Leave my hands, and--
    greetings, o December!

    On the face of it, the poem seems to be about two men, named September and December. Not exactly. The poem is about my journey to the seaside resort in December, where I’m about to bathe in the sea and take the sun. However, the September well may be a man who I know, and December may be an older man. Who knows? Only the author and fate.

    *decadence*
    I felt someone’s come.
    It’s opaque sense of someone’s presence.
    I expect you are reality?
    Speak nothing
    even though you are reality!
    You can’t say anything what is equal to the moment
    when I felt your presence.
    May be you suppose I’ve heard you approaching?
    But I’ve heard nothing of the kind.
    My ear was full of music, I was full of music,
    and now suddenly I felt you.
    If it were the eve of All Hallow’s Day, but no…
    and I’m not hungry and not abed.
    Ahh... is your name Dio?
    Yes? No! Don’t answer.
    Approach!

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